"Did I say the wrong thing ?"

Or "Did I say something wrong/Did I say it wrong" I don't know choose the one you prefer.

Going on with this little "Being weird" series, this post is going to be highly linked to the previous one.

DO YOU EVER JUST talk to someone, but then you think too much about the perfect reply you could make, so what you answer them becomes, to yourself, really ridiculous, and stupid, etc etc etc and so on - and also OH obviously you stutter while saying what you want to say. But not only it seems ridiculous to you, but you realize the person you're talking to starts squinting and having that little embarrassed smile. And bam. It's too late to realize you just said a bunch of sh*tty things that didn't come out of your mouth the way you wanted them to. SH*T.

Me. Well, pretty much.

It's another one problem of mine, and maybe I am the only awkward girl on Earth that gets to deal with that. But my point is, by writing these posts, I try, as it helps me, to help you if you're going through those things, but also to make you laugh (a little bit). Because, hey, it's nothing really serious! Life is f*cking stressful, of course. But we got to take it a little less seriously sometimes. Well, enough for the cheesy words. Let's get into the core of the subject.

Okay. Example of a common situation I get myself into : I'm talking with this girl who's in my class, not a friend, but friendly talking. Then comes a moment she asks me something or tells me something that expects like a "waaoow!" reaction. My reaction ? "Wo-wow. Eh... y-yes! Wow, does it... do you... is it alright ? Okay." because honestly this is what the inside of my head looks like at this moment:

Damn my head.

And after I answered and she did the squinting/embarrassed smile thing, I'm just standing there like :

And you're going to tell me "yes, but in your previous post you said that nobody cares what you do so it's okay, you said your thing and that's it." OKAYBUTNOTTHERE.

What I fear the most after the conversation ends in a brutal, awkward way, is that the person might think "okay, she's way too weird, never talking to her anymore, and I'm also going to tell all my friends not to, she needs to stay alone with her own motherf*cking level of creepiness.". Yes there is a lot going on in my head, but this one was a tiny little bit exaggerated. Anyway, after thinking of this possible situation turnover, another thought crosses my brain : "What if I had said something else ? In another manner ? Would she have reacted in another way ?". And this, my friends, might be the most frustrating and frightening thought I can have in this context. 

Basically, to sum it all up, I don't have any real solutions, apart from the ones I already told you about : chill out. If the persons you're talking to are friends, really good friends, they know you so they might know that you get anxious for approximatively everything, and they understand and don't mind it. If it's someone you don't really truly care about and don't expect to have them in your heart until your last day, then it's cool! Stutter in front of them as much as you want - or as it goes, because we can't clearly control that -, you don't f*cking care ! You might maybe want to tell them "sorry" with a little smile or laugh, and they will be like "it's okay, it's cool, no problem", I assure you.

With this gaze, they just cannot refuse your apologies!

No but seriously just say "sorry" and explain your situation in a funny way only if you feel like you can trust the person. Okay? Got it? Great.

So that's it. Tell me if you experience the same things as I do, it would make me smile to read similar things that have happened to other people than me ! (not a in a mean way, just because it's heartwarming okay) Yes, this post looks a lot like the previous one, but I wanted to separate those things. The first one was about actions you do hum.. silently ? in the middle of a lot of people, and this one is about a conversation you have with only one person. So yeah. Big difference, duh. (kidding) Next time, I might post something about "How to chill out" because, to my mind, it would be veeery interesting. 

Gbaaaaaiii ♡